(My life purpose is to learn, so I read a lot of books!)
Here are the books, courses and people that have changed my life.
Relationship Skills / Personal Development
In terms of relationship knowledge I really admire the work of John Gray, Katie & Gay Hendricks, Esther Perel and Rori Raye.
Some YouTube channels I follow:
- Lewis Howes School of Greatness: https://www.youtube.com/user/lewishowes
- Antia and Boyd: https://www.youtube.com/c/AntiaBoyd
- John Gray: https://www.youtube.com/user/JohnGrayMarsVenus
- Russell Brand: https://www.youtube.com/user/russellbrand
- Dandapani: https://www.youtube.com/user/DandapaniLLC
John Gray a male point of view on how both sexes can raise the quality of their relationships. Get’s quite scientific with hormones and how to achieve more male/female polarity. He also convey’s the communication differences between men and women and how these differences (once understood) can create better relationship harmony. Beyond Mars and Venus is an update of his classic book from years ago.
Rori Raye is a female perspective for women. Her material is great for exploring and enhancing feminine energy. (This can need enhancing too, as many of us have exercised our masculine energy at work, so much that the feminine energy has weakened). This doesn’t help our relationships as a man doesn’t want to be around male energy. Men are attracted to our feminine side. Most of her role plays and examples lean towards single women but apply to marriage as well.
Understanding YOU (and him!)
I love the personality test available at:
It’s based on the NERIS® model and identifies and describes your personality based on a few questions. It is super accurate and understanding each others very unique personalities helped with accepting and celebrating differences, rather than being confused and unsure of how things fit together.
I also subscribe to:
Subscribe to this wonderful website once you know your type – Susan sends an email with deep analysis on personality types each week. Susan Storm, the creator of Psychology Junkie, who happens to also be an INFJ has near enough a global library of personality type information. Her writing is accessible and highly accurate. Every article she produces gives further insight into ourselves and each-other based on our type.
Personal Core Values
Look no further than:-
Understanding my own personal core values helped me figure out who I am. Aligning my values to my life choices helped me live and express myself authentically.
I’m a person who is a bit hopeless at sticking to my own direction, views and boundaries. Quite seduced by what other people are doing and easily distracted. Being able to pinpoint what I care about and value has successfully protected me from losing my direction. Can also be used to uncover potential partners core values to see how well they match.
Finding your Purpose
Yes I had to put something quirky in here!
The Life you Were Born to Live by Dan Millman. It seemed like a long-shot when I first delved into this book, that describes your purpose based on your birthday. I wasn’t a believer but I thought I would at least keep an open mind on it’s contents. It was recommended to me by a spiritual guide who wrote this book’s name on a piece of paper for me after a ‘reading’ I had in Sydney. It’s SPOOKY but everything in this book has tested to be true. Since reading I feel like I’m living my most honest, purposeful existence to date.
The Imperfection of Human Nature and Survival
Two books that gave me an exceptional understanding of truthful raw human nature:
- The Blank Slate by Steven Pinker, and
- The Choice by Edith Eger
It’s been so worth it to understand Steven Pinker’s research and perspectives on natural born human nature, that we are all born with half a blueprint of what we will already be, and half a ‘blank slate’ that we can ‘nurture’. His book also goes into the differences between men and women and helped me to grasp that society is often swimming against its own nature instead of in harmony with it. Steven Pinker is a Harvard Psychology Professor, so I find him very credible, but intuitively I feel he get’s to a lot of root causes. For me it’s an account of why there is so much disparity in male/female relationships in society today. As well as being an intellectual feast of a book it’s a much needed explanation of why things are so out of balance.
The Choice by Edith Eger is a moving account of her journey from holocaust survivor to becoming a successful psychologist. Her accounts of how she overcame some of the most difficult challenges and emotions a human can possibly encounter are transcendental. I felt so moved and educated by this book. Every emotion she goes through can be applied to your own life / inspire you. She also delves into her relationship challenges as an adult, that tie in with my other learning. She also shares the stories of her clients challenges and successes as a psychologist.
Healing Sexual Abuse/ Harassment
Sexual violence against women sadly happens to; 1 in 5 women.
Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. As a survivor of sexual assault / abuse I found these two books helped me work through incidents from the past and gain some healing and closure from the damage they incurred:
- My Silence is Broken by Gary Sellors (practical workbook with writing exercises)
- The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass
Empaths and Sensitive Souls
If you feel like you absorb other’s emotions. If you feel like you’re rather sensitive to everything around you (both physically and emotionally) – you could be a HSP or Empath.
If you are, you may find the following books helpful:
- Finely Tuned by Barry Davenport
- The eating guide for Empaths and HSP’s by Diane Katherine