Introduction
The contrast (Polarity) between males and females creates desire – the greater the difference, the more mesmerizing the attraction. Sorry did you get distracted thinking about that!? Yeah, it’s a pretty fancy design, driven by our biology.
Masculine and feminine energies are present in all life. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol recognises this as the union of opposites. Yin is the feminine life force of receptivity, while Yang is the masculine force of action. Studying the energy traits associated with masculine and feminine, I was surprised just how polar opposite they are and how much the gap has blurred over the last few centuries with drastic social shifts in roles and attitudes, sadly parallel with rising divorce rates. In other words, our biology hasn’t changed, but society has. Rate yourself against the list to see how close you are to channeling your natural-born feminine essence if you are curious.
Reconnecting to our natural state is about remembering and spending time with the energies we are innately born with (before society impacted us). And (I believe) one of the many important approaches to improving male/female relationships.
Here are the next five feminine energy traits and how to tune into them:
Cyclical
“Female hormonal cycles have natural fluctuations that effect mood, energy, and cognition“. Forbes. Because of this, women experience cycles in their emotions, wants, and desires. With awareness, self-acceptance, and truthfulness, embrace the ups and downs. In contrast, guys are more of a continuous line.
Why it’s important:
The health of a woman will be harmed by suppressing her feelings. It is stifling and unhealthy to deny having any negative emotions, including anger, sadness, shame, embarrassment, fear, and confusion. Imagine, however, that you are in a situation where you are unable to communicate your emotions or feel embarrassed to do so. In that situation, life is frustrating, you may lose closeness with people and relationships due to your lack of awareness of your emotional state. And develop things like IBS, depression, or anxiety.
How to:
Due to trauma, many people struggle with this and suffer numbing of their emotional connection. With regular feeling journaling, a mentor, or friends, you can improve your relationship with your emotions, desires, and wishes. Create a radical self-care routine, and lot’s of quiet time. Ask yourself how you are feeling and travel with the feeling. Say “I feel…”, “I desire…”, “I hate…”, or “I adore…” instead of, “I think…” Practice expressing those emotions both verbally and nonverbally. Yoga or other gentle exercises like walking are good ways to practice being in your body.
Open-minded
Being present and open on a physical, emotional, and energetic level, attracts others towards her. Women show their interest in other people in this way. In contrast; initiation as a reflection of his interest, effort, activity, and acts of service are all aspects of masculine energy.
Why it’s important:
How does it feel to walk along a street without making eye contact with anyone and having no conversation? It’s not really enjoyable. What about thinking only one way, and rejecting any other ideas, is being this way supporting your growth?
How to:
What if you visit your neighbourhood café, smile, talk to a few people, and unwind? Perhaps you confess that you had a miserable day and are eager for a cup of coffee. What if you setup a Zoom call just to chat about life instead of just for work meetings? In these instances you’ve been open and sincere. Now, how do you feel? Note also how many seemed to like your vibe. It’s a more wholesome way to live, and ideally more organic. If you’re an introvert like me, it can be a challenge but as you meet more varieties of people, your mind opens to a broader level and you gain confidence with each interaction. I found, traveling solo or in tour groups, to different countries is a super fun way to become more open-minded.
Relationship-orientated
We as women, have far deeper sensitivity to the equilibrium of relationships. Accept your abilities and passions for developing fulfilling partnerships and relationship cultures. Men will guard the family while you establish harmony. They will intervene if things turn ugly or out of control, their instinct is to protect/provide for their family.
Why it’s important:
The countless wars and conflicts in our society today, in my opinion, are brought on by a persistent shortage of feminine energy in all spheres of ‘modern’ existence. I believe it’s critical to practice radical acceptance of ourselves and one another, understand and respect the differences between men and women, and re-educate ourselves about the true nature and purpose of being male or female to achieve greater oneness.
How to:
If you believe you have a history of failing in relationships, you should focus on it because it should be a biological strength as a female. Consider what it means to you and picture a happy, peaceful existence filled with balance with your friends and family. Read about or show interest in the topic of validating other people’s experiences and feelings, as well as studying and using general relationship skills. Utilise self-reflection to figure out where or why you aren’t developing the kind of high-value friendships and relationships you want to. What deeper-rooted negative beliefs are within? Do you esteem who you are? Mistakes and all? How will you accept yourself and be accepted by others if not? Do you trust yourself and your relationships?
Cooperative
Having a good attitude, well-intended open-minded engagement, doing and saying things that will provide value or harmony, collective enjoyment, and serenity.
Why it’s important:
On the inside, getting along with people feels lovely. Have you ever observed how joyful women seem when they get together with other women? In terms of finding a life partner, I see compatibility and cooperation as crucial because journeying alone is ineffective and stagnates people’s growth. I’ve observed the distinction between working things out together and attempting to do so alone. I now choose to do things with other people far more than I used to because I respect their alternative techniques. I understand through my studies that we are different. And because I have worked on gaining faith in myself and others.
How to:
Work on accepting the many approaches and viewpoints of others, listen with interest and get in the habit of having faith in other people, the universe, and life’s natural processes. Learn how to appreciate, acknowledge, and actually hear and notice people. These are the types of life skills to seek out. Focus on respect, how respect can be communicated and how important it is for the men in your life (Fathers, Brothers, Husbands, etc) to feel respected by you, ask them when they felt most respected?
Good Listener
Our ability to receive and listen to loved ones is profound. Tune into this side of your spirit by sitting back and spending an hour just listening to the man in your life, partner or best friend without interrupting, fidgeting, or answering back. Listen to someone’s words and think about the heart message behind those words. What underlying message can you hear underneath the words? Just experiment with listening in a calm, mindful, peaceful way. It’s so incredibly soothing to give it a go. I love being in this state.
Why it’s important:
Being so chatty and opinionated is something our society has deemed ‘valuable.’ However, one of the magical things about the female spirit is the ability to truly join people ‘where they are’ and be fully present, listening, and responding with calmness and acknowledgment.
How to:
Ask questions about what individuals are saying, delve deeper into the subjects they chose to discuss, and “peel the onion” to understand why and how that felt for them. What was the most surprising aspect of the trip/whatever they are sharing?, What happened?, What was most meaningful?, and What did you think about it? are all great shortcut questions to use if you need to get someone going so you can practice listening. Practice tuning into how it could have felt for them while you listen to their response. Learn and practice acknowledgment, validation, and affirmation techniques.
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© Morvana Zaahira Goodman 2023