Introduction
The contrast (Polarity) between males and females creates desire – the greater the difference, the more mesmerizing the attraction. Sorry did you get distracted thinking about that!? Yeah, it’s a pretty fancy design, driven by our biology.
Masculine and feminine energies are present in all life. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol recognises this as the union of opposites. Yin is the feminine life force of receptivity, while Yang is the masculine force of action. Studying the energy traits associated with masculine and feminine, I was surprised just how polar opposite they are and how much the gap has blurred over the last few centuries with drastic social shifts in roles and attitudes, sadly parallel with rising divorce rates. In other words, our biology hasn’t changed, but society has. Rate yourself against the list to see how close you are to channeling your natural-born feminine essence if you are curious.
Reconnecting to our natural state is about remembering and spending time with the energies we are innately born with (before society impacted us). And (I believe) one of the many important approaches to improving male/female relationships.
Here are the next five feminine energy traits and how to tune into them.
First five are here.
(The rest will follow in future articles):
Strong Boundaries
Getting super clear on what you want / don’t want.
Saying I don’t/I want without overexplaining.
Making sure your wants are true to yourself.
Maintaing own identity and plans,
especially when in relationships.
Why it’s important:
Clear boundaries communicate self-respect.
It shows you are not a pushover and will raise people’s belief in you.
People can trust you, which is attractive and reassuring.
Have you been around someone who says “No” to a plan and then the next day changes their mind? Or someone who goes along with something others have planned but looks unhappy the whole time? That was me in my 20’s – I had no idea how to work out, share and maintain healthy boundaries. I was shy, unsure of myself, and fearful. Now I’m assertive and confident; I know what I want and how to say it (without being rude). With these new skills, I feel centered, I love others for the right reasons, and my security comes from investing in myself.
How to:
- Don’t be swayed when it comes to your best-made plans.
- Build a life outside the world of relationships that stands up on its own.
- Are you sacrificing your time and sanity because you’re unsure how to set boundaries or afraid of upsetting others? Maybe you just need the right words? How to say it?
- Are you transparent when someone steps over a line? Speak up when this happens in the moment.
- Have you broken promises made to yourself? Pledge to keep promises from now on.
I gained knowledge on setting boundaries and honoring my wants and needs from:
- This podcast: https://beyondbitchy.com/
- Completed an assertiveness course in my local town
- Also, I recommend relationships courses or courses/books that help you tune into your wants and needs and express them respectfully.
High Standards
This is about holding yourself in high regard.
Not staying anywhere or with anyone that
disrespects your standards or values.
Why it’s important:
Part of being female is to know that you are exceptional. In this world, you are a giver of life and maker of families! Low standards will attract low-level treatment from others, wrong people, and ugly behaviors in relationships. It is true that if you don’t value yourself and demonstrate high standards, others will also struggle to value you and treat you well. Your life reflects what you are putting out into the world and accepting back.
How to:
- Do you feel your actions may communicate low standards?
- Did you allow him to pressure you into physical intimacy yet feel uncomfortable afterward?
- Are you enabling terrible behavior to go on, hoping it will change?
- Working on confidence, self-worth, and being a VIP in your mindset is very feminine.
- Stop accepting anything less than excellent! (Trust you’re worth it!)
- To attract a high-quality man, life or job, strive to behave and act with high standards
Gratitude
This is about perspective, choosing the perspective of gratefulness
brings more blessings. If you’re not in on the dynamic-shifting
power of gratitude – well, you need to get in on this fast!
Why it’s important:
It shifts your mood and makes you feel alive. It also shifts the vibe around you. Icy cold relationships melt under the warmth of genuine gratitude. If you stop sharing and become ungrateful, your life shrinks and becomes daunting, dark, and depressing. If you have a personality type that overly worries, over-thinks, or temperament that is pessimistic or melancholy at times, practicing the habit of gratefulness is even more critical.
How to:
If you have negative feelings about someone or something (especially yourself), don’t buy into the pessimism; instead, write down a list of things you’re grateful for to balance the human brain’s negative bias. (For every one negative, create at least three positives). Not to mention listing out gratitudes, vocalizing them, or even creating a gratitude board in your kitchen (or other high-traffic areas of your home) – it can generate a lot of goodwill and positive vibes, even if it’s a Monday morning! Practice gratitude daily, promise a friend you’ll send them three gratitudes a day about your life and vice versa/journal your gratitude about life and others – whatever works, practice it and make it a habit!
Respectfulness
Respect is about words, body language,
paying attention, putting your phone down,
not interrupting when people speak, and
awareness of manners and social protocols.
It is about presenting yourself in a respectful manner.
Why it’s important:
Disrespect breeds more disrespect. Whenever I slip into being overbearing, dishing out advice that nobody asked for, or putting my feet on coffee tables, I remember now that I want to convey my better self as a respectful woman. If you want to ensure others respect you, the best strategy is to level up your embodiment and knowledge of respectful behavior. This ties in closely with having high standards.
How to:
Be aware of your body language. Avoid controlling others by telling them what to do/offering unsolicited advice. Instead, convey respect for people’s feelings by simply listening rather than solving. Unless you dislike something intensely because it crosses a core value, trust people to do what they feel is best. Don’t interrupt people when speaking, and respect any other cultural protocols or rules, especially in other people’s homes or cultures. Apologise if you’ve been disrespectful.
Accepting
This is about letting go of trying to control things
outside of ourselves. Instead of rejecting, refusing,
and turning things down, accept and receive
from others whatever they bring to create
solid, healthy, long-lasting relationships.
Why it’s important:
Yin is the feminine life force of receptivity. We are born to accept and receive. Focusing on what’s wrong or missing is the opposite of acceptance. Trying to control the universe is exhausting (believe me, I’ve tried it). Knowing and accepting you are not really in charge of everything lowers stress levels, improves health, and brings peace. Let it go! From accepting other people do things their way, to accepting love will come into your life when it’s supposed to, not when you force it to. All of this allows great things and doors to open that an unaccepting person would sadly miss.
How to:
Do your wants and needs sound dangerously like complaints. Did you make a big deal of the missing can of tuna in the groceries your partner brought home? Pointing out people’s faults only breeds anger and resentment.
- Accept faults, mistakes, and unexpected outcomes are part of life.
- Do you turn gifts away or compliments by dismissing them? Receive with grace and say thanks, it is the sentiment that counts and your attitude that counts, not the gift itself.
- Practice saying thank you from the heart for gifts, compliments, or help. See the positive side of all things the universe is sending your way, even if its value seems unknown to you right now. You will suddenly find a use for it later and wonder why you didn’t think enough of it in the first place.
- Did someone buy you a coffee? Say thank you mindfully and share how great it feels to have the extra energy boost from the coffee. The acknowledgment will make their day and yours!
- Accept yourself, the man in your life, and all his flaws, just as he should accept you and yours.
- Accept that you may not always get what you want.
- Express your wants (such as tuna!) wishfully, rather than issuing demands, expectations, or ultimatums.
If you would like a mentor to guide you on this journey head to the contact page / don’t forget to subscribe to catch all the juicy articles coming up. Don’t leave it any longer you have a life to live!
© Morvana Zaahira Goodman 2022