The contrast (Polarity) between males and females creates desire – the greater the difference, the more mesmerizing the attraction. Sorry did you get distracted thinking about that!? Yeah, it’s a pretty fancy design, driven by our biology.
Masculine and feminine energies are present in all life. The Chinese Yin/Yang symbol recognises this as the union of opposites. Yin is the feminine life force of receptivity, while Yang is the masculine force of action. Studying the energy traits associated with masculine and feminine, I was surprised just how polar opposite they are and how much the gap has blurred over the last few centuries with drastic social shifts in roles and attitudes, sadly parallel with rising divorce rates. In other words, our biology hasn’t changed, but society has. Rate yourself against the list to see how close you are to channeling your natural-born feminine essence if you are curious.
Reconnecting to our natural state is about remembering and spending time with the energies we are innately born with (before society impacted us). And (I believe) one of the many important approaches to improving male/female relationships.
Here are the first five feminine energy traits and how to tune into them.
(The rest will follow in future articles):
The enjoyment of all senses;
smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.
Why it’s important:
Sensuality is a powerful healing modality and divinely feminine.
Make engagement in pleasurable things a priority, schedule time doing these things in your calendar or make it part of a routine. Some examples include; being in nature, listening to music, wearing perfume, eating chocolate, enjoying delicious meals, sunbathing, swimming, massages, laughing, lotions and candle-lit baths, dancing, reading, being around or wearing sensory fabrics, and physical affection. As Valerie Ramsey in her book, Gracefully, writes, “Sensuality enriches the soul as much as it enriches the body and mind.”
Nurturing, in the feminine form,
prioritises relating, acknowledging,
and appreciating a person’s experience
or predicament, along with things like raising
and caring for children or helping out those less fortunate.
Why it’s important:
Women’s form of nurturing is to bond, heal, create, relate and empathise. Men’s form of nurturing is to protect, provide, fight for a good cause, solve problems and take action.
Understand and be curious about what someone may be going through. Listen, relate, validate, hold space for them, acknowledge, see, and feel their feelings. Lead with gentleness, hope, emotion, encouragement, and empathy. Find side hustles or volunteering in areas that help other women or altruistic causes to exercise this innate nurturing and empathy we are all born with. If you love animals, nurture them, feed and love them.
In your relationships, reduce solving, advising, and actioning (which is more masculine energy) – save that for work. Many guys see solving, advising, actioning, providing and helping you as their role and purpose in romantic relationships; when you take those opportunities away, it betrays your feminine essence and makes a guy essentially unrequired, the rising depression (a disease of modernity) and suicide rates among men today continue and home life shouldn’t make it worse. Men want to be of service to their wives and families, yet more and more, their only source of purpose is outside the home because women have lost the ability to be vulnerable, ask for assistance, and rely on their spouse.
While you are busy nurturing your family, plants, animals, and side business helping others – delegate life’s emergencies and problems to him to solve.
Free-flowing expression of feelings
such as happiness, sadness, warmth,
comfort, discomfort and being afraid.
Why it’s important:
If you bottle up your emotions, your physical and mental health will suffer, I used to get IBS/anxiety from holding in my true feelings and it caused me many sleepless nights and painful experiences. In relationships, expressing emotion about your life challenges creates strong attraction and deep connection. Holding emotion in creates distance and inauthentic interactions.
Practice asking yourself how you feel, pick a feeling that best describes your bodily or emotional sensations as you go about your day, and express them aloud or in a journal. For example, are you feeling warm, cosy, and comfortable? Did someone embarrass you? Did you feel awkward, stressed or overwhelmed? Your inner world is part of your feminine essence; learn to express yourself in the moment without shame. Are you sad or scared about the latest storm heading to your town? Express it from the root of your body, and anyone who genuinely cares will enjoy making you smile again or protecting you from the cause of your fear, and this inner part of you creates an unbreakable bond with any man you see as worthy.
If your feelings don’t need a solution or a male type of input, and you’re just venting, two choices; call a girlfriend you trust, or journal / work with the emotion with the techniques I provide. Why? Have you noticed when you share feelings with a man he will try to solve or solution them? Or deal with them as a problem-solving exercise? Yes, that’s what their male energy is designed to do! Avoid dragging him into a “let’s share emotions party”. Guys will generally feel anxious or frustrated at emotional vent parties, hence women need other female friends or mentor’s to unpack their feelings ideally, so that you are not requiring your man to act like a female, let’s be honest – there are times you want someone to hear, feel or sympathize not solve – that’s a great task for your female friends.
Think of feminine energy as fluid,
stormy, emotional, passionate.
It flows from moment to moment
like the waters of a river.
Why it’s important:
Flowing from moment to moment is a byproduct of following your emotions and being aware and expressive in a healthy, mature, self-accountable, and positive way. Your mood is supposed to be highly changeable, not a flat line.
Follow and express what you feel in your heart from moment to moment. For me, this required a considerable amount of slowing down, from slowing down my bodily movements, talking, breathing, speed of walking, and practicing mindfulness; every activity I do is in slower-motion. I chose to no longer subscribe to society’s inappropriate pressure to rush around or do things all the time. Enjoy life’s moments and practice patience. Nap if you want to! Reduce your schedule, ask for help by saying to your guy: “I could really use your help with…[insert thing]”.
For me, the pressures of life had me spinning so fast I couldn’t be fluid, I was super stressed and living on survival mode. Don’t do this to yourself. Ask yourself – how can I live my life more peacefully so I’m not overwhelmed or strung out? What can I change either step-by-step or in a new life plan I create to open the way for a happier, more fluid pace of life?
For me, these questions led to a choice of moving to a more relaxed city, and choosing a more minimalist home and lifestyle, it included change and sacrifice and I would do it all again in a heartbeat for how calm, and serene I feel every day since.
Creative feminine energy
is the energy that creates life.
This energy loves beauty;
aesthetic, internal and spirutual.
Why it’s important:
The feminine essence is the only principle that can take in something and transmute it into something else, for example, children. Expressing yourself through artistic and creative activities is great for mental health. Creativity has been proven in extensive research to relieve both stress and anxiety. Creativity also helps lessen the shame, anger, and depression felt by those who have experienced trauma.
Paint, draw, craft, bake, write, garden, sculpt, sew, volunteer – there are many ways to be creative. Sign up for a course in something that truly moves you. A good sign is if it sends you into a flow state or simply makes you smile. Have you ever been so immersed in writing in your journal, creating postcards out of your recent photographs, or dancing to your favorite music that you lost all sense of time? That’s a flow state.
My experience has been that when I carve out time to be creative I feel grounded and playful. The rest of the world melts away in those moments. I followed advice from another female artist and signed on to an art school, I also feel writing has become a huge passion as it connects my concern for others and creative expression. Ask yourself what have you enjoyed creating in the past? Did you enjoy mixing strange concoctions as child? Perhaps mixing paint, ingredients or baking calls to your heart? Did you enjoy bike riding? Climbing trees? Perhaps a physical activity like bike tours, biking holidays or mountain climbing is calling your name? Be curious, try things out, experiment, and keep looking for more ways to transmute things!
If you would like a mentor to guide you on this journey head to the contact page / don’t forget to subscribe to catch all the juicy articles coming up. Don’t leave it any longer you have a life to live!
© Morvana Zaahira Goodman 2022